When was the last time you felt jealous?

For us it was not so long ago. ☝️

July has been a month to understand one of the most challenging emotional experiences: jealousy. However, it can also open the door to a deeper connection when we listen carefully.

This is what we call healthy jealousy.

Although everyone's stories in InnerBalance were different, the emotional experience was alike. It normally makes us feel unsafe, unseen, disconnected, overwhelmed, confused, and emotionally stuck.

We start behaving like children not able to choose our reaction carefully. Thoughts begin circling endlessly, and self-worth is questioned.

Jealousy isn't what it seems. 🫨

Jealousy is an emotion that most of us would rather not admit to feeling. It often carries shame, or the belief that something must be wrong with us if it appears.

Through media and everyday conversations, we frequently encounter two extremes: jealousy is portrayed either as possessive, irrational, and controlling, or as proof of deep love and commitment.

Neither view captures its complexity.

As a result, many people either suppress their jealousy out of shame or allow it to dictate their behavior.

However！Beneath the discomfort, it usually carries valuable information about ourselves and our relationship.

At InnerBalance we've created the Jealousy Wheel to help you (us all) explore the emotions and needs that lie underneath.

It makes it easier to understand what's really going on within us.

Want to try out the wheel? Read more >>​

Jealousy often feels like an emergency you have to act on right now. By simply noticing it first, you can interrupt the urgency.

Before trying to change it, explain it, or make it disappear: become aware of it. Notice the sensations in your body, the thoughts racing through your mind, and any urge to escape the feeling.

The first step in dealing with anything is awareness.

One of the most powerful first steps is to untangle this mixture of emotions. Instead of saying, "I'm jealous" ask yourself, "What exactly am I feeling?".

Naming our emotions helps you create a little distance from them. It also helps you identify your real needs and communicate what kind of support would actually help.

Sharing those deeper emotions with someone you trust can make a remarkable difference.

It is much easier for others to support you when they understand what you are experiencing and what you need.

Jealousy becomes much less frightening when it can be shared without shame. This is one important step towards healthy jealousy.

It's appreciating it as a reminder of how much someone matters, while remaining curious about both our own needs and those of the other person.

Healthy jealousy is less about controlling another person and more about staying grounded within ourselves.

Nevertheless, communicating about jealousy isn't easy. It helps remembering that most people long for emotional validation.

Before hearing "You don't need to worry," we want to hear:

"I understand why this feels painful. You matter to me, and I don't want you to carry this alone."

Jealousy teaches us acceptance and good communication.

If we can learn to express ourselves during one of our most emotionally challenging moments, communicating our needs in everyday situations becomes much easier.

The Biggest Takeaway.

At its core, jealousy often appears when a connection, a bond, or something we deeply value feels threatened.

In that sense, its underlying purpose is not to create distance but to draw our attention to relationships that matter and to protect the connection we fear losing.

The opposite of jealousy isn't indifference → It's Connection!

Learning to understand jealousy means responding to it with awareness without demonizing it.

When we approach it with curiosity instead of judgment, jealousy can become an opportunity to deepen intimacy, strengthen our relationships, and know ourselves more fully.

Somehow it always happens.

Every theme we explore in InnerBalance seems to be a topic also in Vanessa's and Jesus' lives - that particular month.

Of course, July was a good moment to experience jealousy. Why not? It comes in handy to have some extra practice.

Surprisingly or not, we managed it.

One of us, let's call it A, recently experienced an intimate connection with a third person, let's say C (we have an open relationship!!). That night, B was totally cool with it. As a matter of fact B even offered space so A and C could enjoy their time together.

All cool until... the days after some uncomfortable feelings visited B. Jealousy was calling.

B couldn't understand that. Wasn't it all fine before?

Some time later, A and B met C by chance. They were having a very connecting conversation when, suddenly B brought up the topic, admitting its jealousy in a calm way. B expressed that the real pain wasn't in them spending a night together, but the fact that after some years of relationship B and A couldn't experience a first time together anymore.

That moved C. The whole meeting turned emotional, and we all shared our emotions, creating deep bonding between us.

Since then, B felt completely released, and seen. And no more jealousy about that appeared again.

Sorry for the riddle with the A,B,C. 🤣 Just trying to keep some privacy.

As always, we want to give you a taste of how things are going within InnerBalance by sharing one little something that excites us. This time: The arrival of our new Live Gathering!

Through simple yet powerful games and exercises we invite conscious connection. Becoming more aware of how we communicate, perceive others, and how we show up in relationships.

Ah-oh-oh! we've reached 100+ subscribers to this Newsletter (after only 4 editions)!! 🎉